Mothers hold their
child’s hand for brief moment but their hearts for a lifetime! But..But..at
times mothers hold on a little too longer than a moment. Why? How? The most
probable answer that pops in our head is the big L word. Oh yes! L.O.V.E!!
Fathers aren’t any lesser too. As they say “Any man can be a
father..It takes a special someone to be a dad.” Some dads are extra special
that they become super dads! So this week on UNMASK, lets unravel the mystery
behind this special bond.
We are well aware of this theory that every girl wants to
see her dad in the man she marries and every man wants to see his mother in the
girl he ties knot with. But why is it so necessary for us to see our parents in
the person of our dreams?? Doesn’t it shake you up a little?? Psychologically
there is an explanation for this tendency. The reason as stated by scientists
is that as young adults we tend to fancy the faces that we have looked at
constantly through our childhood. And it invariably is Mom and Dad. This result
kind of holds good in a lot of cases as it explains the Indian mentality of
falling for their own cousins because they apparently have spent more time or
admired their cousins. There is a stream of study which deals with Pheromones. This is one of the most researched topics among scientists these
days. Pheromones are well understood by
most mammals as they possess VNO- vomeronasal organ in their nose. Well, let me
put in English. Pheromone is nothing but a chemical factor secreted by us which
causes the affinity we have to certain smells. The smell of our parents gives
us a sense of warmth, love and security. This is exactly what an individual
looks for in the opposite sex. However, one does not plan it and roam around
with a smelly dress of his parents and matches it with every individual he or
she comes across. These things happen involuntarily. And it is stated that an
individual gets attracted to the scent of another individual who has an immune
system different from his own.
Mommy’s boys are considered to be the Best husband
materials. However, how much of the mommy potion in a guy is acceptable is the
big question. A guy who is attached to his mother apparently looks at his wife
through the same lens. So he tends to be more considerate and tries to keep his
wife happy. And such relationships tend to last longer it is stated. The reason
being a guy who is attached to his mother tends to develop more intimate and
emotionally open relationships which is the most essential factor when it comes
to a relationship. Men are generally enigmas who consider it their birth right
to lock up their feelings. Mommy’s boys are more open about their emotions and
hence making it easy to work out a relationship. The research reveals that men who had a strong love for their
mothers also tended to date women who described them as 'their best friend'. And
those who said they sought to 'make their mother proud' ranked high in terms of
their ability to communicate with their partner. But, how often are these
researches in synch with our real life conditions? Maybe 6 out 10! Nearly two-thirds
of the professionally successful men questioned identified themselves as a man
who "runs every life decision past his mother", and "takes her
side over everyone else's". That only 18% of them thought a mummy's boy
was someone who "likes to spend time with his mother" should in no
way undermine your confidence in the usefulness of the results. Despite all
these heart melting nice things said about mommy’s boys, most women show a big
NO-NO to them. The reason is pretty obvious, ain’t it? A mommy’s boy expects
unconditional love as a consolation. That’s not too much to ask for from your
mother because a child tends to be her flesh and blood and she would be ready
to do anything for you. However, from a wife you can expect unconditional love
but not at the expense of throwing her own life away. This thought scares women
and hence the NO NO!
As for the daughters, from infant to toddler to tween to
teen its daddy all the way! The girl is a reflection of her father’s self
esteem, confidence and most often her opinion about men. For a girl, her dad’s
constant encouragement is the most needed boost. She happens to match this
quality of her dad’s in the man of her dreams. It’s a father who teaches his
daughter to love! Shocking! But this is the fact. It is a father who teaches a
girl to love a man..but of course only a who treats her right. Again an
involuntary action it is. Daughters will see what their dads believe about
women by how they value and respect women, or by how they fail to do so. It is
a dad or the first male care taker in your life who shape up the first model of
how a relationship with a man should be. It is our parents who shape and paint
our lens through which we look at the world at least in our growing years. A
woman’s early relationship with dad, who is usually the first male object of
her love, shapes her conscious and unconscious perceptions of what
she can expect and what is acceptable in a romantic partner.
A child’s relationship with his or her parents in their
early childhood is the lynchpin of her romantic life. This doesn’t mean that a
child with troubled parents becomes a bad person. But it certainly influence
their outlook on their preferences for a better half. So beware mommys and
daddys your kids are watching you like hawks.
To form a doting amorous relationship with someone random
person you meet on this weird planet is a challenge on its own. Not as
challenging as Ted Mosby’s life I hope! It requires constant compromises and
undeviating concern about the interests and well being of your better half. You
cannot expect your girlfriend or boy friend or husband or wife to instantly
vouch for you at all situations which invariably your mother or father can do. Eventually,
love is love and all it takes is little or…. a little more than little time for
an individual to step out of their maternal or paternal comfort and stand up
for the one with whom they wish to share your life. It is certainly not too
much to ask for! It is Love after all! Let’s embrace this Mother’s Day with
this thought.
Happy Mother’s Day!!!
-N&N
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